How To Lead Yourself In The Midst of Chaos


As a leader, you are faced with leadership challenges almost everyday. If not in your business, it is in your office or school. If not outside your house, it will be within your family where demands call for you from all angles.

In these challenges that we have encountered, doesn’t it always draw us back to the one question of how we lead ourselves in the midst of chaos? It is always a leadership issue and there’s always some form of chaos.

Knowing we cannot lead others until we are able to lead ourselves, this question of how to lead yourself in the midst of chaos is the most pressing question we need an answer to.

Let me help you explore this with 4 keys.

Embrace Who You Are

You are a human being and not a human doing. If we know at the end of our life, we won’t measure it by. Start thinking about values and principles that is consistent with who we are. List out a carton of values you should live by. Don’t make it too many in your carton, just 5-7 is enough. Make them non-negotiables in everything that you do.

Make Today A Day To Grow

With that carton of values, live by it. Like muscles grow with resistance rather than with flow, you grow by what you resist also. With the values you live by, you are able to know what you ought to do and what you should resist. Make that resistance a good thing and do not feel bad about doing it. On the contrary of what we think, people will respect you by what you stand for. So make today a day to grow by what you stand for.

The Chaos Is What Happens On The Outside

Yes, you may indeed by facing some big challenges and turmoil in the midst of leadership and needing to lead yourself. Just like you have to do the point above, Make Today A Day To Grow by what you do and resist. Others have their part to play too. Know that the chaos is about things outside of you and often something beyond your control. If you have done the last point, you have done your part, even if one of your value is to love. Sometimes tough love is needed that you care enough for others to know the boundary of what is your problem and what is theirs. Discern right and you will know the most of the chaos happens on the outside. It doesn’t have to affect you inside.

Peace Is Possible Inside Of You

Knowing chaos happens on the outside that you are not responsible for, overcome it by being strong inside. Connect to what your heart desire and your heart will be strengthened. Your heart desire connection and love and acceptance. So go with doing things that your heart wants, like being grateful for what you have rather than what you don’t have, like taking a walk in the park, like meditating and praying, connecting with God and with friends.

If you have no friends (as many leaders sadly do), turn a stranger who has like minded interest into a new friend. When I knew that leading myself is possible with chaos, I started devoting myself to something I always love and have neglected, music! So today I listen to music more, study music deeper and begin to jam with some new found friends.

Peace is possible if you know what your heart needs and attend to it. I do it with all the ways I mentioned above but predominantly with prayers to the Divine who is the creator of my heart. He knows all things and in Him, I live, move and have my being.




I also blog at where I write spiritual exercises to help us step into the presence of God



Leading yourself in the midst of chaos is very practical and possible. Consider the 4 keys above and live passionately.

What do you think? Write to me, how you do it?

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8 thoughts on “How To Lead Yourself In The Midst of Chaos”

  1. I do agree that peace is certainly important in everyone’s heart. If you do not possess any and had some chaos in your mind, you would end up distracted and could possibly end up in a disaster. Worse still death(usually in a car accident for someone who react in impulse). This is usually more common for people who reside in the city where they are often packed with hectic schedule. Seriously, there is not much of the quality time to calm themselves down. Perhaps, mediation could be an alternative solution to that? I don’t know much about that but please do enlighten me on this. Thank you.

    1. Hi. Thank you for your comment. I do know what you mean about not having too much quality time to find that peace. The best thing I ever did in this area was to check into a retreat centre. I travelled a distance to another country to get away and have that quality 5 days with God. The encounter with God was so tangible. The 5 days without distraction gives room for God to speak clearly. I came back knowing and understanding what the peace that comes from the presence of a God who wants to walk and talk with us daily is all about. I have another blog which I write spiritual exercises based on my experience there so that we can do the same daily where we are. So my summary answer to your question is that we have to dedicate time and even resources to find peace if its valuable to us. It doesn’t have to be a long time if we cannot afford it but even half an hour or an hour a day is a good start.

  2. In the midst of chaos, I now tell myself that I am well. I know that I cannot fix everything and I certainly cannot change the world. My approach is to leave things in His hands. God is the Author and the Finisher and I now find my peace in allowing Him to fix what needs to be fixed. Thanks for posting.

    1. Thanks for your comments! Agree on your approach to let go and let God.

  3. I think that’s very true. I think it’s better to disappoint someone and be respected then a likeable doormat.

    You should always be consistent with your values and beliefs. I think it makes you an honourable and trustworthy person. Plus people will always know what they get with you.

    In the end, I eventually get what I want out of life when I’m not compromising my values. Plus, I don’t live with any regrets that way and I can always feel good about me.

    1. Thanks Kate for the comment. I find what you said inspiring. Keep living out your values.

  4. Hey Hong Tech!

    I love the piece ‘you are a human being and not a human doing’.

    That resonates with me and people whom I see and meet. Values and beliefs are so important. I see people sucking up to bosses and leaders all the time. God!,….don’t know how they can do it!!


    1. Thanks for the comment. People always act according to their values. If they don’t deliberate determine what it is, they are likely flowing with some values of personal gain such as convenience, monetary gain or promotion. People flow with their leaders, either genuinely because their value is congruent with their leaders or they just hold the value of personal gain.

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