Journey of Wanting God

I grew up in a family that provided all I could need as a young boy. During my school days, I was always in the top class in the top school in Kuala Lumpur. Living in the country’s vibrant capital meant no lack of leisure activities in my life.
 
But something was missing. Although I had a lot of interest from music to sports and arts, deep inside I felt ’empty’. I had lots of friends and no lack of invitations to hang out. But still, deep inside there is a void I can feel but couldn’t understand.
 
When my parents bought us to migrate to Australia, all my siblings was given a greater prospect to enter university. I needed no ambition because I had little to worry as everything was paved out for me. All I had to do was to follow the path.
 
What was missing in my heart became even stronger. At one point, I experienced something that was close to a depression. It was when every day, I would wake up not having the reason to live. It was at the worse point during those long gloomy winter nights that was never experienced in KL. Sometimes, thoughts of suicide would come and there’s nothing I can do about it except to try to get through the day as quickly as possible.
 
Then one day a friend of mine invited me to go to church. I didn’t want to go because church didn’t sound like a cool thing to be associated with. I actually didn’t know much about it. At church, I was introduced to Jesus, the God I found out I know so little about.
 
I found out the 4 most basic life questions.
 
1) Where we come from
2) Why are we here
3) How are we to live?
4) Where will we go after that.
 
And I found out Jesus isn’t what I thought him to be from conversations or piece and pieces of information that gets thrown around.
 
I came to know that there were so many misunderstanding about the son of God and the God of the universe. I came to know the real Jesus and that day I personally accepted Jesus into my life.
 
Now I didn’t know what that meant but my life did make a turn-around. With Jesus in me, there was a sense of meaning. Having a meaningful life became an experience I have never felt before. Suddenly, the sense of life purpose hit me that I would feel grateful often without knowing why. It’s just a feeling of gratitude and bliss.
 
I was blessed to have completed my studies, moved to Singapore, worked, found my wife and now with 3 children. After 10 years of working in IT, the field of my study, I dedicate my next 12 years working with children as a children pastor in the church I served.
Now, I recently tendered my resignation from the church to move on to a new adventure after hearing from God to commit the next phase of my life to helping children in orphanages all over the world.
 
I could do all these because I realised I no longer have that ‘something is missing’ feeling. I have no thoughts of suicide at night and no more can’t get up from bed mornings.
 
That missing piece was surely about having God and His peace inside of me.
 
The difference between then and now is that I am happy. I have a personal God who blesses me, guides me and gives me peace. The peace I could carry with me all my days all my life.
 
Today, I live my life purposefully, always with enough to bless other people. I thank God for sending his son Jesus as a gift to complete my life.
 
I wish the same for you.
 
If you want to know more about the impact of knowing a God who loves you and can help you, please be my guest at Hope Church Singapore if you live in Singapore.
 
Otherwise, Life Church. TV has an online service for wherever you are in the world.


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