Non-Violent Communication (NVC) is a communication approach that focuses on empathy and mutual respect in interactions. This approach can be highly beneficial in marriages and can help couples improve their communication and build stronger relationships. In this blog post, we’ll explore what NVC is and provide examples of how it can be used in marriages.
What is Non-Violent Communication (NVC)?
Non-Violent Communication is an approach to communication that emphasizes compassion, honesty, and a willingness to understand the other person’s point of view. It was developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg and is based on the idea that people naturally desire to connect with others, but often struggle due to misunderstandings and emotional barriers.
NVC involves four main components: observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Observations involve describing what we see or hear, without judgment or interpretation. Feelings involve identifying and expressing our emotions in response to those observations. Needs involve identifying the underlying needs or values that are driving those emotions. Requests involve making specific, positive requests for actions or behaviors that can help meet those needs.
Examples of NVC in Marriages:
- Expressing Observations: Instead of making accusations, express observations in a non-judgmental way. For example, instead of saying “You never help with the housework,” try saying “I noticed that the dishes have been piling up in the sink.”
- Identifying Feelings: Instead of lashing out in anger, try to identify and express your feelings in a calm, honest manner. For example, say “I feel frustrated when the house is messy,” instead of “You’re so lazy and messy!”
- Identifying Needs: Instead of assuming your partner knows what you need, identify your underlying needs and express them clearly. For example, say “I need more help around the house so that I can feel less stressed,” instead of “You never do anything to help me!”
- Making Requests: Instead of demanding or criticizing, make specific, positive requests for actions or behaviors that can help meet your needs. For example, say “Can you please wash the dishes after dinner tonight so that I can have a break?” instead of “You should be doing the dishes more often!”
Overall, Non-Violent Communication can help couples communicate more effectively, build deeper connections, and strengthen their relationships. By focusing on empathy and mutual respect, couples can learn to express themselves in a way that is honest, compassionate, and constructive. By practicing NVC regularly, couples can build stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships that last a lifetime.
Get your copy of NVC by Marshall Rosenberg here >
Thank you very much for this valuable and comprehensive post on Non-Violent Communication In Marriages. This is really a very important post. Because many problems can be seen in marriages today. So I think this NVC is the best solution for that. Keep posting like this. I definitely share this.
Thank you. I’m glad you find this useful.
This can surely help a lot of couples that have major issues communicating with each other. I have seen a lot of couples the last few years break up just because they cannot understand the other and do not put the effort to communicate efficiently and in a manner that will solve each problem at hand. Your post surely provides some very good ideas on how to overcome this.
Thanks Stratos K. That’s why I feel the need to introduce this important work by Rosenberg. Appreciate your comment
As someone who is interested in communication and relationships, I found your article on using nonviolent communication in marriages to be very informative and helpful. I appreciated your exploration of the different principles and techniques of nonviolent communication, as well as your personal experiences and recommendations for how to apply them in the context of a marriage.
One question I have is whether there are any specific challenges or considerations that couples should keep in mind when attempting to use nonviolent communication in their relationship. While you mention the potential benefits of this approach, I wonder if there are any particular factors or situations that may make it more difficult to apply nonviolent communication techniques effectively.
Thanks Ronnie for your comments and question. I think the challenge to implement NVC is the communication styles of each party before attempting the change. As usually couple has gone through years of conditioning in how they communicate, changing to this way takes practice and time. I usually suggest doing these steps with the help of a mentor, coach or counsellor.
I believe this is a very important article. When people think of violence in marriage, they often think of physical violence. However, verbal violence can hurt more and be more lasting. Angry comments, humiliating remarks, blunt criticism and stark demands are all forms of violent communication. The four ways to avoid violent communication in marriage that you offer are simple and easy to implement with some thought. This article will have some positive impact on couples.
Thank you for your comment Jim! I’m glad you find the ways simple and easy to do. Wish you all the best.