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Non-Violent Communication (NVC) is a communication approach that focuses on empathy and mutual respect in interactions. This approach can be highly beneficial in marriages and can help couples improve their communication and build stronger relationships. In this blog post, we’ll explore what NVC is and provide examples of how it can be used in marriages.

What is Non-Violent Communication (NVC)?

Non-Violent Communication is an approach to communication that emphasizes compassion, honesty, and a willingness to understand the other person’s point of view. It was developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg and is based on the idea that people naturally desire to connect with others, but often struggle due to misunderstandings and emotional barriers.

NVC involves four main components: observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Observations involve describing what we see or hear, without judgment or interpretation. Feelings involve identifying and expressing our emotions in response to those observations. Needs involve identifying the underlying needs or values that are driving those emotions. Requests involve making specific, positive requests for actions or behaviors that can help meet those needs.

Examples of NVC in Marriages:

  1. Expressing Observations: Instead of making accusations, express observations in a non-judgmental way. For example, instead of saying “You never help with the housework,” try saying “I noticed that the dishes have been piling up in the sink.”
  2. Identifying Feelings: Instead of lashing out in anger, try to identify and express your feelings in a calm, honest manner. For example, say “I feel frustrated when the house is messy,” instead of “You’re so lazy and messy!”
  3. Identifying Needs: Instead of assuming your partner knows what you need, identify your underlying needs and express them clearly. For example, say “I need more help around the house so that I can feel less stressed,” instead of “You never do anything to help me!”
  4. Making Requests: Instead of demanding or criticizing, make specific, positive requests for actions or behaviors that can help meet your needs. For example, say “Can you please wash the dishes after dinner tonight so that I can have a break?” instead of “You should be doing the dishes more often!”

Overall, Non-Violent Communication can help couples communicate more effectively, build deeper connections, and strengthen their relationships. By focusing on empathy and mutual respect, couples can learn to express themselves in a way that is honest, compassionate, and constructive. By practicing NVC regularly, couples can build stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships that last a lifetime.

Get your copy of NVC by Marshall Rosenberg here >