Adults fight big inwardly and too little outwardly. They should learn from children who fight often outwardly but never holding a grudge.
Recently I’ve been involved in several tension situations where I was involved as the neutral party. The culprit has always been communication or rather the lack of it.
If there’s something that we can learn from children is to fight a lot because fighting is a form of communication. It is better than holding a grudge inside of us for too long. The brewing nature of anger is detrimental.
I believe in fighting in marriages and in leadership teams when love is there. Tough love is also love. It is being able to face issues knowing its better to communicate it than to harbour it in the heart.
If talk cannot be achieved properly, then a fight is warranted as long as you don’t hurt the other person … too much.
That’s just my opinion. What do you think? Is anger kept inside a healthy sign? What is the better way?
You know, I love observing children and watch how they handle themselves in difficult situations. They are genuine, honest, blunt and straight to the point where it makes me laugh inside at times even though it’s not really funny. I have a 4 year old and just yesterday, a boy grabbed my son while playing ball as he wanted to get to the ball first, and tried to push my son out of his way. My son being somewhat of competitive nature, but loves engaging in play, his instant reaction to being grabbed violently was to push the other boy away without thinking of what may happen to him. It turned out that the other boy got more hurt. But my son’s response was ” He never should have grabbed me this way” He was totally correct, BUT his response was not. Which I had to step in of course, and have a talk with the both of them and explain to them the neither one of them did the right thing, and made them apologize. What I wish my 4 year old did was stop, and tell the other boy verbally that this is not the way to play. Either way, children are eager to take care of the issue right there on the spot ( whichever way they decide to do it ) they don’t typically hold grudges. With adults, well we are so different as by now we learned how to be the better person at times and let things slide, which by the way is never healthy. We should learn to be kids again…hahah
Thanks for sharing your fresh experience with your own child.